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So I traveled far to Boston,
With that suitcase on the plane,
And I looked up a professor,
I said "teach me my real name!"
And he said "no, no . . .
I don’t have the words to teach you."
So I drove to California,
With that suitcase in my car,
And I found the wisest doctor,
I said, "doctor, help me sir!"
And he said "no, no, no, no, no . . .
I don’t have a pill to fix you."
So I ran up to Montana,
With that suitcase on my back,
And I found the last live poet
I said, "show me what I lack!"
And he said "no, no, no, no, no, no, no . . ."
This is not a song to heal you."
Holy Heart
So I walked to Arizona,
Searching for my oldest friend,
I said "friend, I’m getting tired
Could you hold me till the end?"
But he had a job, and a car, and a wife,
To start a family of his own
And I don’t know who could blame him
But it shook me to my bones
When he said "no." He said "no . . .
I don’t have the time to hold you."
Holy Heart
So I crawled back to Wisconsin,
Trying to find a piece of home,
And I walked up to my pastor
I said "God, I’m so alone!"
He said "well have you been praying the way that we pray?
And have you been going the places we go?" I said "no."
And he said "no, no, no, no, no, no, no
This is not a home to house you."
Holy Heart
So I flew right up to heaven,
With that suitcase left behind,
And I walked those streets of gold,
Until I looked God in the eye,
He said "son, you’re looking tired,
But there’s one more thing to ask . . .
Do you believe in what you’re preaching?
That the first will be the last?"
And I said "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah . . .
Everything I’ve done has been for you!"
Holy Heart
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Meeting a friend on a rainy weekends
For one cup of coffee and conversation
That's a hard, hard thing
When most of the things that you admire
Are wrapped up in light and stuffed inside her
Beneath soft, soft skin
I have loved your shadow
I have loved your air
Even if you leave me
I will love you there
Speaking aloud our deep desires
Dragging the hidden things up higher
Its a cold, cold fear
Cuz why waste our time on foolish dreaming,
When both of us know Im always leaving
From this warm, warm year?
Then you spoke it. I don't think it slipped out.
(I should know when it does!)
The room was shaking,
suffocating
I was all alone
I have loved your shadow,
I have loved your air
Even if you leave me
I will love you there
I wanted to ask if you were happy
I wanted to hear that you could not be
I have loved your shadow
I have loved you air
Even if you leave me
I will love you there
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I was a radio, could you believe it?
You were a frequency that never came in quite right
I added an antenna to try and achieve it
But you are a secret, secret girl
Love is a slippery slope and I am a slider
You were a concrete wall—built at the bottom
I thought I would break right through or maybe go higher
But you are a secret, secret girl
You are a secret, secret girl
Love is a robins egg next to your sandal
If you took just one step you'd smush all my guts out
Oh what a friendly friend turned into a vandal
Cuz you are a secret, secret girl
You are a secret, a secret, secret girl
I was afraid, I was afraid
I was afraid of letting go
I should let go, I should let go
I should get go of what ain't mine
What is not mine, what is not mine,
What is not mine is everything!
Everything, everything,
Everything you touch turns cold
Everything is cold,
Everything is cold,
Everything is cold,
Everything is . . .
You were a cigarette at rest on my soft lips
With every draw I took it was giving me cancer
But it's pretty hard to quit when you gotz a habit
For such a secret, secret girl
And you are a secret, secret girl
I was afraid, I was afraid
I was afraid of letting go
I should let go, I should let go
I should let go of what ain't mine
What is not mine, what is not mine,
What is not mine is everything
Everything, everything,
Everything you touch turns cold
Everything is cold
Everything is cold
Everything is cold
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